Tuesday, June 12, 2012

How to get rid of Resentment

To get rid of resentment learn how to forgive.  Forgiving doesn't mean they must apologise.

Forgiveness is a Choice
By: Robert Enright

I would recommend this book to everyone able to read.  It could be helpful for school age students as well as parents, spouses , employees, business people, and the elderly.

Some more of what I learned from the book.
Repressing bad events in our life may cause anger.

I have found myself transferring my anger from the person that deserves it onto someone else.
Does my anger make me feel afraid? Yes sometimes when I snap and say something mean to someone instead of the person that hurt me.  My health has been affected by my resentment and anger at the person that hurt me or a loved one.  I have been obsessed by the crime against my loved one's and myself.  My life and my family's life changed when the crime against us happened.  Because of the crime I do not trust people or myself to judge people and I have distanced myself from everyone. I also went through shame.  People judged me badly.  People thought I was not truthful about the crime.  I was so hurt, disappointed, shocked, angry at how people judged and treated me.  I am also angry at myself because I blame myself for being stupid enough to trust and not stop the crime.  I have guilt because if I had done something different it would not have happened.  I have become cynical and paranoid.  I now believe everyone is out to use and hurt me and my family.  I am scared of everyone and believe that every thing that goes wrong was planed or done by the criminal either directly or indirectly.  My body hurts.  I have closed myself off from people.  I don't like people because they are mean.  I feel unsafe and depressed.

How to get rid of resentment and forgive!
In forgiveness we must know why we are forgiving.  What was done to be forgiven for and how it affected us.  The more we forgive the less angry we will be.  Forgiveness is a lifelong commitment to do all the time.  Continued bad relationships ,one after the other cause deep hurt and resentment.  To forgive all those continued resentments you must do it a little at a time and continue t o work on it.  The deeper you are hurt the longer it takes to forgive and heal.  You also must forgive yourself.

Mental healing and forgiving takes time.
Forgiveness is not giving in, pretending it didn't happen, forgetting, justifying, or saying it was OK.

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